if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize