I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
