Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
