You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
