I have demons in me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Two words: nipple clamps
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