If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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