he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
we're so committed to being not committed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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