she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
