i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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