just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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