The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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