Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
