I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize