ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
