I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
