office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
