you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
