At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize