Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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