it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
