susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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