I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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