Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
