After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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