so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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