Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
