hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
