Pappa wants mamma naked
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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