Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
