Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
two words...techno handjob
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
