Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
