that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
