guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
