We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
