Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
