I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
