PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it hurts more in the daytime
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
