highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
