Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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