I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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