I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
50% drunk capacity currently
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
