i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
