I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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