Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
