i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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