butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
