i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize