Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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