I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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