My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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