Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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