Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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