don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
