I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
