the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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