Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
