didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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