your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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