Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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