i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
