Kiss
Puke
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
