yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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