Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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