question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
