You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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